


an onyx treasure

by Arzani



Series: what is left [2]
Category: Black Sails
Genre: And angst, Domestic, F/M, M/M, Multi, OT3, Polyamory, Post Treasure Island, also a lot of fluff, because I am a sucker for angst, because I couldn't get the conversation between Silver and Madi out of my head, but also fluff, my answer to 4x05, part of the a blossom's grief world, with my fav ot3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-26
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-27 03:39:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9952769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arzani/pseuds/Arzani
Summary: “I once asked you whether I would be enough,” John started, hesitant, especially as Madi’s eyes widened. But before she could interrupt him, he put a finger over her lips. Voicing the whole question was crucial to voice it at all. She complied and nodded slowly, her dark eyes never leaving his.





	

The air was cool, but not cold and the first few crocuses popped their heads out of the soil. They wormed their way up near the veranda John was sitting on, a warm body next to his. His blue eyes focused on the two figures a bit further away, laughing happily. As happy as John had never believed they would, ten years ago.

“What are you thinking about?” was voiced, soft and almost inaudible. Yet it pulled him back to reality, back from haunting memories, back from things that belong to the past and better stayed there forever.

Turning his head, he looked at Madi, into her face that showed concern. Her eyebrows were knitted together, her deep onyx eyes just a tiny bit narrowed. Yet, she was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, ever kissed, ever loved. She shared that top position with the man further down, playing with their daughter, and said daughter.

Love was a strange thing, for it grew more and more as you kept dividing it between the right people.

“Just about how much I love you,” John answered her, and then let his gaze turn from her to James, who let himself drop to the grass, so Miranda could climb on top of him. The former notorious pirate James Flint surrendering to a ten-year-old. If people had known Nassau would have been claimed back by the English a long time ago. “And how much I love him.”

A gust of wind tousled up his locks, as he looked back to Madi. He didn’t voice those last words in him, knowing some things where rather meant to be left unsaid.

She didn’t ask. It was in her eyes, in the way she shifted, in the way she held her head, that she knew, but she didn’t ask. Because some questions were unnecessary, and some were not meant to be answered. John was grateful for it.

The silence between them lingered, only interrupted by the laughter from down the garden. James had gotten up again, the muscles in his back flexing as he lifted Miranda up, throwing her a little in the air and catching her again. She giggled and smiled. The last time she had been able to, as she called it, fly, was some weeks ago. In a while she would be too heavy for them. She was already for John, who couldn’t manage what James or Madi could, simply because of the lack of balance and the need of a crutch.

Something hard and unforgiving settled in his stomach, made him feel sick. Without realizing what he was doing he pulled himself out of the warming comfort Madi was offering, too absorbed by the spiraling darkness which dragged him down.

“John Silver, come back to me!”

It wasn’t a request or an offer, it was an order. One John was happy to comply, no matter his chest heaved heavily, and his hands trembled. Before he could think too much about it, Madi reached for him and intertwined their fingers. She steadied him.

His eyes were filled with gratitude and only when she led both their hands to his cheek, to wipe away a tear, he realized he had started to cry.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, trying to stop the inner turmoil from showing, surfacing and letting it ruin the peaceful moment they just had had. Then he realized it was probably too late for it, because Madi snarled. An ugly thing to do for a queen like her, nothing that suited her face, but sometimes a very necessary thing to express her emotions to him and James. John knew they both were fools most of the time.

“Apologize for it again and I will rip your tongue out,” she hissed, and somehow all he could do was chuckle. It sounded like a sob nonetheless, but it drowned some tension. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, smelling her, her hair, the soap she used and the spices she had prepared their dinner with. When he drew back all the concern had returned to her face. Somehow it was no improvement. “John what is wrong?”

It was hard to answer this question truthfully, and somehow his memories absorbed him again. They led him back to a tent on a beach, on a different island, on a different continent. But then laughter split the silence and he was back on the veranda.

“I once asked you whether I would be enough,” John started, hesitant, especially as Madi’s eyes widened. But before she could interrupt him, he put a finger over her lips. Voicing the whole question was crucial to voice it at all. She complied and nodded slowly, her dark eyes never leaving his.

“I once asked you whether I would be enough, referring to the war… and I hadn’t realized back then I voiced the question poorly. So may I revoice it again?”

“Of course,” she muttered, pressing his hands and stroking his palm with her thumb, encouraging him to speak up, no matter John could see, could feel the anxiety in her. It was maddening and it pained him to do this to her, to do this to him, but he had to. In this moment, he was glad James was playing with Miranda, oblivious to the conversation. He wouldn’t have been able to cope with the words John was about to speak. It would break him and John simply couldn’t let that happen.

“Tell me, Madi, my queen and sun, am I enough, the way I am, with a missing limb, blood on my hands and unable to not love the man who’s your daughter’s father?”

Her answer was a kiss, fierce and demanding and rough, perfectly able to carry her ‘yes’ without a doubt. Yet, as her fingers snuck into his hair, pulling at them, pressing him closer, she even saw the need to deepen it. With everything they never knew how to voice, she stole his breath away and robbed him off of any rest of lingering darkness. Just like that she pulled him away from the abyss. Made him alive again.

They parted when an excited voice grew louder, and again John found her forehead, kissing it softly, before both turned to meet Miranda running up at them. She looked like an angel, who never had seen harm, with her shining green eyes and her unscarred, smooth skin of chocolate brown.

“Mama, Daddy, look what Dad and I’ve found,” she exclaimed and held up a stone in her hand, black like the night. “He said it looks like Mama’s eyes and he’s right.”

Their gazes shifted from Miranda’s new found treasure to James, who walked towards them close behind her, his hands in the pockets of his trousers, a grin on his face. His neatly trimmed beard was lifted upwards with the edges of his lips. Something shimmered in the green of his eyes, similar to his daughter’s glee and John marveled in it. How long had he waited for this peace to settle between them? He’d give another limp to ensure it.

“I can only say you’re right, darling, it very much looks like your Mama’s eyes. What a beauty,” John confirmed and opened his arms when it was obvious Miranda wanted to sit in his lap. She leaned against his chest, and he could feel her small body press up to his, making him ache, but this time in a very good way. The best of ways. Leaning closer, he plucked the stone out of the smaller hand to examine it. When he deemed it thorough enough, he gave it back. “Indeed, very beautiful.”

A giggle was his gift, and John absorbed it happily, watching his daughter talk, as she held the stone next to her mother’s face, as if to see the similarities between it and Madi’s eyes. Not giving too much attention to the words, John rather breathed in the sounds that seemed to fly between them, light and soft. Something broke in him, another wall he hadn’t known was there until it was gone.

He jerked a little when he felt a calloused finger run over his cheek, and again John only realized the tear when it was taken away. Tilting his head, he shifted his attention from Miranda to James, who had sat behind him, his legs embracing his frame. Settling back against the chest, he let the other man carry his weight.

“Do you know what she said, when we found the stone?” James asked lowly and because it was too much of a rhetorical question for him to answer properly, John just shrugged. It wouldn’t have needed the movement for James to go on speaking, but it felt good how his shoulders rubbed against the muscles of the other man’s chest, making John feel safe. “She said, now that she has found Madi’s eyes in the ground, she needs to find yours next in the sky.”

Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, John couldn’t muster up a reply. Instead he stroked Miranda’s sides, who was still talking with her mother. The fabric of her woolen dress felt soft and just a tad scratchy. She was quite unaware of the conversation of her two fathers.

“And I answered her, that you are in every breath she inhales, in every gust of wind that tousles her hair and every cloud that passes over her head. You are in every story, every word and every laughter neither Madi nor I can elicit from her throat. You make us whole John, and you are whole. Don’t ever forget it,” James continued to whisper into his ear, made him shudder and a part of him wondered how he knew. But then again, it was part of James to just know, when he did not. There was no much sense in questioning it.

“Thank you,” he mumbled instead, and let go of Miranda, when she was pulled back onto her feet by her mother. The two entered the house, to finish the dinner, their little girl eager to help as always. It was long since John had to take over cooking, no matter he had gotten better at it.

A kiss was placed on his hairline, a soft touch caressed his shoulder and James’ body heat warmed him from the inside. His gaze grazed the horizon, the trees in the distance and the sun slowly setting over the mountains. Rattling skillets and light laughter were the last part needed to remind him this was not a beach, no island and even though there had been a time for him unable to choose, two others had chosen for him. Telling him there was nothing to choose between.


End file.
